Name: Ruby
Likes: Pouncing on things
Dislikes: Dogs

I live in Holmfirth where the world’s longest running sitcom, Last of the Summer Wine was shot. I am far too young and hip to remember it but the middle-aged bipeds love it and come in their bus loads to see all the locations! If I had known Nora Batty I’m sure I would have had great fun sharpening my claws on her wrinkly stockings.

Anyway, recently some new hoomans moved into my house while my permanent hoomans are away on holiday. They are called Ange and Frank and they seem OK. They feed me and stroke me and play with me too because I’m not even a year old so still a bit frolicsome in my ways. When I brought my new hoomans a mouse, they are useless hunters and buy everything from Lidl, they made appreciative noises and praised me! They had read that this was the right response in the book, Catwatching by some chap called Desmond Morris. I think they are taking this whole cat psychology thing a bit far but they mean well. Morris wrote that female cats think their hoomans are useless kittens that need to be fed. Ange and Frank didn’t eat the mouse though, I checked. So it was all a bit of a waste of time, apart from the fact it was oodles and oodles of fun.

My cat-sit hoomans have been having some jolly days out at Yorkshire Sculpture Park, Bronte Parsonage, Hebden Bridge, Digley Reservoir and the Monsal Trail in the Peak District. I saw the photos on the catputer. I love trying to catch that pointy cursor thing with my paw. In the mornings I scramble all over Frank as he tries to read his email, because I haven’t seen a hooman all night! In the evenings I’m a bit less wriggly and sit on his lap sort of quietly. Apparently I dig my claws in a bit too much, but that’s only because I am hardwired to pummel for milk from Mothercat, that Morris chap says so. My permanent hoomans had described me as not a lapcat so they will get a nice  surprise when they get home!

Must be going now, as, yawn, there is an empty sofa which has a Ruby-shaped hollow in it…Here’s some photos of the places my temporary hoomans went to, oh and a couple of Moi!

Zak Ove, Black and Blue

Andy Goldsworthy, Outclosure

Henry Moore

Hepworth

Tony Cragg

Tony Cragg

de Saint Phalle

Jaynie

Hebden Bridge

Haworth

Bronte Parsonage

Bronte Parsonage inside

Bronte Parsonage

Moi!

Sophie Ryder – Hare

Council flat immersed in copper sulphate by artist…

Monsal Trail

Just chillin’